Respect

Last week, Jeanne and I saw the documentary Bully, a film many people need to see. Unfortunately, there was one other person in the theater. The movie was in Wichita only one week.
I say many people need to see it. I'm thinking especially of school administrators, teachers, students, parents. I know that sounds heavy-handed, especially since it's a difficult film to watch. I know many people don't watch movies, and of those who do, perhaps most just want to see something enjoyable, whether that's an action film or a romantic comedy. 
But occasionally it's good for us to expose ourselves to something that makes us uncomfortable, that forces us to think about--and feel--an issue that is important and needs attention. Call it a spiritual discipline, if you like. If we just go after what's nice and comfortable, we won't grow in our spiritual lives, and the world won't change much for the better.

One reason Bully should be seen by many is that it reveals such a common problem. Many of us (most of us) have been bullied, or our kids have been bullied, or perhaps we've bullied others. Over 13 million kids will be bullied this year, and 3 million will miss school each month because they don't feel safe there. 
It's not only common, it's destructive. Two of the five families portrayed in this film include kids who committed suicide after being bullied repeatedly.
Lee Hirsch, the film's director, was bullied as a child. In this film he interviews members of five families. They live in Iowa, Oklahoma, Texas, Georgia and Mississippi. One of the most moving subjects is Alex, a 12-year-old in Sioux City, Iowa. The filmmakers capture scenes on the school bus in which several kids not only insult Alex but punch him and even stab him with a pencil. The bus driver and the kids around him do nothing. The filmmakers then decide to leave their objective distance for a time and out of concern for Alex's safety show these scenes to Alex's parents and to school officials.
The parents go to the school, where an assistant principal tells them she has ridden on that bus, and the kids are "as good as gold." The school confronts the kids who bullied Alex, though there's no guarantee it will end. But at least the parents know.
And so do we. That's why this film is so important. We see bullying behavior on film, and we get acquainted with those being bullied and with their families.
The film also interviews Kelby, a 16-year-old girl in Tuttle, Okla., who came out as a lesbian. Although she is a good athlete, she is ostracized at school. Some boys even try to run her over with their truck. Her parents are also shunned by their friends. At one point her father, who was raised to believe that homosexuality was a sin, says, "Now I know what it means to walk in someone else's shoes."
What's particularly maddening about bullying is how commonly it is ignored by schools and other parents. It is a complex issue and not easily dealt with, especially when the bullies' parents deny it or simply refuse to do anything about it. And bullies often are kids who've been bullied themselves. Alex at one point says, "It makes me want to be a bully."
Many of these parents and their families have organized rallies to call attention to bullying behavior. They also call us to simply show respect for one another.
When the film first came out, the MPAA gave it an R rating because of some language at the beginning. After a petition and some negotiation, the Weinstein Company made some changes, and the film received a PG-13 rating, which means children of all ages can see it without an adult. And I hope they do. But adults should see it, too.
Still, it's not getting shown widely. The filmmakers are hoping to have 1 million kids see the film, but so far only 88,000 have.
For more information on the movie and the Stand for the Silent campaign, go to www.thebullyproject.com
And let's all learn to show respect.